Placebo effect 101.
As you may have heard me mention...or more than slightly mention since it's consumed my entire life these past 6 weeks...Roundabout has been facing adversity on the school scene. To say it's been a tough transition is an understatement. Besides being targeted by a school bully, she's dealt with the effects of stress and anxiety over not wanting to leave Mommy's side, not wanting to miss the fun things to do at home, not wanting to leave the comfort of a loving family, and feeling unsure of what each new day would bring at school.
We've had good days and bad, some harder than others, but all in all...she still just doesn't want to go to school even though she's learning a lot, making friends, getting awards for "model behavior", and she's even admitted to having fun.
Lately, she's complained of her face feeling very itchy and I've noticed her having scratch marks especially around her nose and eyes. I've been diligent at cutting and filing her nails and have tried to remind her to stop scratching! It's gotten to the point that she asked to go to the doctor over it. It's a real feeling to her that I am 100% sure is linked to stress. Look up stress in any medical dictionary and it will tell you that the #1 cause of itching is pyschological due to stress, anxiety, etc.
Well, Green Light and Rest Area both had their well child check-ups this week with the pediatrician. While I was there, I ran down Roundabout's Kindergarten scenario with him to get his take on it. Did I need to bring her in? What should I do? I'm at a loss! He recommended that I could try Claritin if I wanted, but while he was talking, I remembered a a little story:
When Roundabout turned 2 years old and was at her well-child checkup with this same doctor, he asked me if she was potty trained and I responded with exasperation that "No, she was not despite many trials". He looked Roundabout in the eye and told her that she was a smart girl and that he knew she could be a big girl now...and that she should save her diapers for the new baby that was in her Mommy's tummy.
Interesting, huh? Well, it worked for her. Dr. Goldbach holds so much power and authority to her that she buckled down, listened to him, and she was well on her way to being potty trained from that moment forward. Fast forward to dinner on Monday night when she asked me what he had said about her at the appointment. I said, "He said that he knows you are a big girl and that you better quit throwing tantrums. And he said that Mommy should have Zero tolerance for your afterschool tantrums." Her eyes got really big as she was taking it all in, but there were no tantrums on Monday....or Tuesday....or Wednesday.
Yes, Dr. Goldback still holds A LOT of power in her mind. Well, she also asked me if she could take any medicine for her itching. I said, "Yes, he told me a kind that I can get you."
Enter...
Not only does a pediatrician hold all the answers and power for her, the placebo effect works very well too. I'd have to say I think we may have hit the bottom and finally be on the way back up!
8 comments:
That is awesome! I can see that working beautifully with a little girl who is very focused on following the rules and needing the approval of those in authority (ie the doctor). (Not that I ever was/am a girl like that or anything).
You are a brilliant mommy. I hope she is able to settle in and enjoy school.
Don't you love Dr. Goldbach! I miss having him as a doctor. Sometimes it's just hearing things from someone different. I hope it works!
Gina, I'm really gald that things seem better. That is so sad that she's had such a struggle. If the solution doesn't prove long-term, home schooling temporarily can have huge benefits!
I don't know Becky, but I really like her comment (not to mention her pic of the temple:). We love home schooling so far and Jared is doing really well. It eliminates so many of those problems that Roundabout is having. I know many people wonder about socialization when you home school. Well there is a difference between socialization and a social life. Socialization is learning how to act in social situations, manners, respect for others etc. those things are very important and can be learned at home. A social life is having friends to play and interact with, which is also very important. Jared is able to play with his friends and still have a social life while being home schooled and the great thing is these are the friends he wants to be around - no bullies.
I'm so glad that Roundabout is feeling better and I hope things continue to improve. Good luck with everything, I'll be thinking about you guys!
I LOVE Dr Goldbach! I totally miss him being my kids dr. I hope things start getting better.
That would be nice to have a doctor for so long! It seems like we move every two years. And we totally use the placebo effect too. That is tough when bullying starts in kindergarten! I'm glad you are the room mother so you can get a better handle on what's going on. I don't know much about home schooling, but I do like the charter school we have our daughter in. They have a dress code and "emotional education" and it helps a lot.
I really hope this continues to work. I dread when Spenny goes to kindergarten because I know it will be the same.
It is always nice to have our children trust and admire a person of great character. Tell her I am so proud of her and how hard she works at school. She is so smart!!!!!!
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