**The birth story. It's long. You've been warned.**
It all started in October 2009. We wanted a baby and were able to get pregnant during the first month of trying. And as fast as it happened, I miscarried. We were sad, but kept trying. In February 2010, I was pregnant again...and again, I miscarried. So, if anyone knows the story behind our third child, we were holding out hope that our trip to DisneyWorld in March would be the answer to a viable pregnancy.
Sure enough, Disney was the place "where all yours dreams come true". I was pregnant and this time, I stayed pregnant, due on the magic of none other than Christmas Day! But just as Disney is filled with roller coasters, so was this pregnancy. Just as I'd come off of one emotional roller coaster, I'd get on board another. I was constantly wondering the outcome and if this baby would survive.
At week 6, just having barely found out that I was pregnant, I started spotting. I was sure that this was another miscarriage and was devastated. After going to the doctor and having an ultrasound show that everything was okay, I still continued bleeding for 7 weeks straight. Finally at week 13 and after another ultrasound, I found out I had placenta previa. Hopes were that it would move by December. And luckily, it did.
All was well and we were so excited to go to our 18 week ultrasound. Roundabout wanted to go with us to see if she would be the big sister to another brother or a little sister. We were thrilled to find out we were having a girl to even out the teams. Straight Arrow had to leave immediately after the ultrasound to get to work while I waited at the doctor's office to see my obstetrician. When she finally called me into her office, she informed me that the umbilical cord wasn't formed correctly. I had a Single Umbilical Artery, which is often an indicator of a heart defect and often leads to low birth weight in infants. Furthermore, part of the right ventricle of the baby's heart wasn't seen on the ultrasound. I was immediately referred to Duke Children's Hospital to a pediatric cardiologist for a fetal echocardiogram. My doctor also ordered a second ultrasound scheduled for two weeks later.
Those weeks crawled by, every day worrying and crying over what might be. I received a Priesthood blessing which brought comfort, but still worrisome thoughts ran through my mind. We had the second ultrasound and everything looked great. The heart and spine both looked fine on ultrasound. And then finally I got to have the echocardiogram, which found nothing at all wrong with our baby's heart. Such relief came over us.
We were able to enjoy the next few weeks of pregnancy knowing that all was well although I was feeling very tired, exhausted, and had no motivation to do anything. I often felt faint and dizzy and kept wondering what could be wrong with me. At week 28, I had the routine bloodwork and glucose test to check for gestational diabetes. Never before have I had gestational diabetes during the previous three pregnancies. But this time, I failed the first glucose test and had to come back for the 3-hour glucose test a week later. I failed it too. I cried. Of course, I then had to go to a diabetes class to learn all about how to manage diabetes through diet. At the same time, I found out I had an ear infection and a sinus infection at the time of my glucose test. And after being treated on antibiotics for those infections, I began to feel somewhat better and I believed that the glucose test was a false positive because of my infections at the time. I religiously monitored my glucose levels every morning and after every meal for several weeks. My sugar level was never out of the range that it should have been and I concluded that I did not have gestational diabetes. But, I had to be treated as a diabetes patient until the end since I had failed the glucose test.
That routine bloodwork done at week 28 also came back abnormal. Not only did I have anemia, but an antibody on the Direct Coombs test came back positive. I had no idea what this meant, but immediately went home and did some research. Meanwhile, I was referred to a Hematologist at the cancer center. Scary. Weeks went by before I got to meet with her and they were filled with worry and fear. She explained to me that they believed my baby was Rh+ and that I am Rh-. I had received Rhopholax several times during the pregnancy for spotting/bleeding. But since the Direct Coombs test was positive, they believed that the baby's and my blood had somehow crossed the placenta and the baby was now attacking my red blood cells making me have hemolytic anemia. They couldn't be sure until delivery, but I was told I may need a blood transfusion when I delivered her. So scary! They did more bloodwork (7 vials!!) to see if they could find out more before she was born.
Those 7 vials showed two things. 1...The positive Direct Coombs was a false positive. All my worry and fear for weeks had been over nothing. I did not have hemolytic anemia. Again, what relief. 2...My hemoglobin and ferritin iron levels were so low that the hematologist thought it was not safe for me to have a cesarean until I had IV iron. The news of this was hard for me. Here I am with three kids at home to take care of and pregnant. And my doctor tells me that I need to go to the hospital for 5 consecutive days, 4 hours each day to have an IV in me giving me iron. How in the world was I going to be able to leave my kids for a week? The week of Thanksgiving, no less! Through a whole series of runaround from the doctors office/hospital/miscommunication, I got scheduled for the IV iron beginning the Friday before Thanksgiving. I was scared to death. I hate needles. I hate IVs even more. And I had read horror stories of how bad IV iron hurts to receive. Straight Arrow was able to go with me the first day and I had the greatest nurse, Beth, to help me get through the treatment. One tender mercy that day was to find out that instead of 4 hours, it would only be about an hour. All in all, from start to finish, it took about 3 hours to get checked in and checked out. The greatest blessing that day though was that it didn't hurt to receive. After Friday's treatment, they left the IV in and I used the same IV again on Saturday morning. 2 treatments down and I was feeling better about this whole ordeal. Saturday, the IV was starting to bother me and so they took it out. The IV site was red, inflamed, and hot and hard to the touch. Sunday came. It was Stake Conference and I knew that our stake was about to split and I wanted to be there to hear about all the changes. So, I went into the hospital super early with my mom that morning in hopes that I would be able to make it to Stake Conference by 10am. What I didn't know was that iron treatments constricts veins and makes it nearly impossible to get an IV started. After 7 different attempts to get an IV started in my right arm, an anesthesiologist was able to get one started in the bend of my arm. It was stressful and painful to have been stuck that many times. I had the treatment on Sunday and I wanted desperately to be able to leave this IV in and come back on Sunday night for another treatment to just get this over with. The nurses all told me and the pharmacist agreed that it was safe and the best idea to have another treatment Sunday night and then again Monday morning so that they would have to give me a new IV. After the run around from all the doctors on call who didn't want to make a decision about my treatment since they weren't my actual doctor, I asked the nurse to call my own doctor even though she wasn't on call. Not only was she completely rude and yelling at my nurse for calling her on her "day off", she ordered the nurse to remove my IV and let me try again on Tuesday. She said that I could call her on Monday morning to discuss my options. I called her on Monday morning, so upset over what had happened on Sunday...and she refused to talk to me personally. Through several phone calls with her nurse that day, she suggested that I have a PIC line inserted to my heart to have the remaining treatments. I refused. I'd rather not have the treatment than to go through having a PIC line inserted. Luckily I was blessed on Tuesday that the nurse was able to start my IV in the one vein she thought it might be possible. After my treatment on Tuesday, they gave me a splint of sorts to keep my arm completely straight until Wednesday morning's treatment. I felt like a free woman leaving the hospital that Wednesday. It was so nice to leave knowing I had completely the treatments and could enjoy Thanksgiving with my family.
The days went by and that first vein that had become inflamed just kept bothering me. And by Saturday morning, it was so swollen in the joint of my left arm that I couldn't bend it straighten my arm all the way. The vein was red, swollen, hot, and so hard. I found myself back at the hospital in the ER with an infected vein. Who does that happen to?! Antibiotics cleared it up and I was on the home stretch to delivery. It couldn't come fast enough. I was so uncomfortable, so scared, and so ready to end this emotional rollercoaster. I swore that this would be the last time I'd ever want to be pregnant. All I wanted for Christmas was this baby girl.
My cesarean was scheduled for Saturday, December 18 at 7:30am. Since Curvy Road had surprised us at 37 weeks 4 days, I was just sure that I would go into labor early with this one as well. But 37 and 38 weeks passed with nothing my constant Braxton Hicks contractions and multiple nighttime wakings. I was so ready. Though everyone thought I looked so small, I felt so big and so uncomfortable. On Thursday the 16th while we were eating dinner, I felt the baby turning and kicking and shortly thereafter, I had a few painful contractions. By bedtime, I was beginning to wonder if my contractions were coming at regular intervals and I watched the clock as a fell asleep. They were coming at 10 minutes apart and were painful enough that I couldn't sleep through them. As I writhed in pain through the night, Straight Arrow would periodically tell me to call my doctor. I was so afraid of calling in a doctor to the hospital in the middle of the night and then having it be a false alarm. Twice before in labor with Roundabout and Green Light, my labor never progressed. So, I waited until 5am and finally called Dr. Cousins. She told me to go on to the hospital and she would meet me there. Once there, of course, my contractions stopped totally. The nurse checked me at 1 cm dilated and monitored my lack of contractions for about an hour. Dr. Cousins arrived and said that since I wasn't contracting and my water wasn't broken, they would proceed on with plans to do the cesarean on Saturday morning...and sent me home. Ugg. Such a disappointment. While I was already at the hospital though, they checked me in and did my Pre-op for surgery the next morning.
I went home and went about my day as usual. I had packed my hospital bag during the night while I was contracting. I cleaned and waited for Roundabout to get home from school. When she got home, she asked me to take her to the library so that she could pick up some books to read while I was in the hospital. As I was about to leave to take her, I talked to my mom on the phone and told her we were leaving for the library. She was worried about me going; worried that I would have contractions, but I assured her that I hadn't had ANY contractions all day since I got home from the hospital. She insisted on taking Roundabout herself though. So, while she was gone, I sat down upstairs and directed the boys in picking up their toys from off the floor. Surprisingly, I started feeling crampy while my mom was gone even though she was only gone for about 20 minutes. When she and Roundabout walked through the door, I had one contraction and it was so incredibly painful that I felt like I couldn't move in the chair I was sitting in. When it ended, my mom made me lie down on my bed and wait for Straight Arrow to come home from work. She thought I should call my doctor, but since I had already sent home from the hospital once, I just couldn't do it. 10 minutes after the first contraction, a second one came and immediately burst my water. My king-size bed was soaked and I was lying in a huge puddle. With perfect timing and less than a minute later, Straight Arrow walked through the door with pizza for dinner. I got up and my water just kept gushing. The contractions picked up and started coming closer together. I showered off quickly and we left for the hospital.
I had a few contractions on the way to the hospital and Straight Arrow dropped me off at the door. It was 6:00 pm. When I went to the desk to check-in, there was no one there at the desk. I waited and waited and Straight Arrow made it into the hospital with me before anyone actually came. Finally, a nurse (the same nurse who had treated me in Triage earlier that morning) saw me and came out to get me. Meanwhile, my water was running down my legs and puddling on the floor. I changed my clothes into a hospital gown and they put me in Triage again. I had paged my doctor while I was still at home, but her nurse called me back and told me that she would relay the message to Dr. Cousins. She wasn't at the hospital when I arrived though. The nurses started paging her when I got into Triage. They hooked me up to monitors again and checked my cervix. There was no need to check to see that my water had actually broken because it was still gushing by then. The nurse checked me and then walked away without saying anything. When I asked if I was dilated, she said, "I felt a hand. I'd say you're at least 4 cm." My contractions were coming at 3-4 minutes apart and lasting about a minute each. The pain was paralyzing and my back was killing me. My doctor finally arrived and joked with me that I didn't have to prove that I could go into labor and I overheard the nurses and doctor talking about how there was not an open Operating Room. My doctor immediately went out to try to get into an OR. When she came back, she checked and and said she felt the baby's foot. Things weren't looking good as I was progressing quickly, the baby was turned transverse and couldn't come out, and there was no OR. I was scared and in pain. One of the nurses in the room was LDS and one of the times I asked, "What happens if this baby tries to come?" I remember her saying, "Everything happens for a reason and it's going to be okay." It was scary! I started asking for pain medication and they finally gave me an IV drug "to take the edge off". I'm not sure it helped with the pain at all, but it sure did make me dizzy and loopy. I was squeezing Straight Arrow's hand during every contraction and I just remember thinking that I couldn't believe how painful it was.
Finally, an OR was available and they took me from Triage to the Operating Room. The part I dread most is actually getting the spinal block. It hurts to get the local anesthesia and there is a lot of pressure in getting the spinal block. I always cry, not because of the pain but just the emotion of the whole situation just gets me every time. I wish they would let the husband into the OR while you're getting the anesthesia, but they won't. The surgery started and I had him by my side to comfort me. It didn't seem like long before they had her out and hold her up over the curtain so that I could see her. She was beautiful and I was so relieved that she was out. I made it to the end! Our little girl was born on December 17, 2010 at 7:29pm. Straight Arrow went with her to have her weighed and bathed. She weighed 7 pounds 11 ounces and was 19 3/4 inches. I laid there forever being stitched up. In previous cesareans, I've had staples to close my incision, but this time I didn't. My doctor gave me disolvable stitches and the difference has been amazing. The staples pull so much on the skin and hurt. I went to the recovery room and stayed there for a few hours until I could lift my legs and hips. Straight Arrow convinced the nursery to let him bring the baby to me so that I could see her and nurse her. It was wonderful. I got to my room and my parents were there and had brought me a meal from Chick-Fil-A. So yummy and even had a peppermint shake!
I stayed from Friday night until Sunday morning when I got discharged. My recovery has been amazing. I have felt so great! The baby has been a champ. She's nursing well and like all of our other babies, has been a marathon nurser until they get my milk to come in. She's so cute. She's beautiful and I am taking in every second of holding her and nursing her. I want to enjoy every bit and remember every thing that I can about being a mother of a newborn, especially if this is the last time I get to experience this. I feel so blessed to have four wonderful children and to have had the experience of being their mother. I love to hold them. I love they snuggle up on my shoulder. I love the little noises they make while they are nursing. I love the drunken state they're in after the warm milk has settled in their bellies. I love their baby smell. I love their fisted hands and wrinkly skin. I feel so blessed.
Throughout this pregnancy and delivery, I've felt the Lord's hand in my life. I know that He has guided me and has healed our bodies. I don't know if there was ever anything wrong with our baby, but I do know that the Lord has comforted me and let me know that she would get to be a part of our family. These months have been a hard and emotional trial, but have also been filled with many miracles and tender mercies of the Lord.
